Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
