guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
