i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
