i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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