Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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