i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
