i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
