it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
