hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
