i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
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