Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
