the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
