My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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