The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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