To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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