loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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