it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
