Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
