is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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