Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
