i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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