I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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