literally had 100 drinks last night.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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