You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
