omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
God I need to hump something, right now.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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