Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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