Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
