yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
