All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize