i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
