i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
