Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
smell my finger.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
