No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My bed smells like the plague
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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