She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
