THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wish i was in the wii world.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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