It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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