also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize