as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
