my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
