A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
