I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize