So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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