3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
