He uses pillows to masturbate.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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