i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
