Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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