Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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