Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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