Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize