is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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