Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
do herpes really smell.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
