Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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