He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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