dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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