Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
