the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
