i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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