so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
