Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
