Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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