can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
