Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
