k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize