she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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