Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
